Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
