I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i drank out of a bidet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
