My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
