Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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