Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize