Define "chronic" masturbator.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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