I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my sisters under your porch take her home
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
