Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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