The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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