i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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