She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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