ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize