The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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