Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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