I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
