You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His hands were made for my vagina.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
