Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
