I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
