This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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