Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
