Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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