I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Threesome in a minivan. New low
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
