I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
