How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
