i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
