I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
