You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
