You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize