no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
