shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
