last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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