oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize