4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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