why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
