You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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