he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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