By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
