Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize