So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize