Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
