i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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