The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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