MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
