Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize