Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
only you would photoshop your dick
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
