Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
