He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
