Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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