and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
