Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
