How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
