He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
