I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
