We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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