Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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