do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
