It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
