Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Found your dick twin last night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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