tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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