I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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