Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
