I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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