About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
