I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
